I’m currently 8 weeks post-partum and I have only sat on my meditation cushion maybe 3 times since giving birth. The time and energy just haven’t been there, so you can imagine my discomfort when I started preparing to teach my first meditation class after returning from maternity leave. What was I going to talk about?!
My early morning meditation time is now the time I spend sitting on the couch with my son. He has usually fallen asleep on my shoulder and in those moments I find myself totally absorbed with studying the details of his sweet face. Each eyelash, the baby fuzz on the edges of his ears, the dimple in his chin… I am totally captivated in these moments. And, then I realized, isn’t this the point of meditation? To be able to sit in the present moment completely? Without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
So instead of fretting about my now dusty meditation cushion, I am embracing the awareness I have in each individual moment. The enjoyment that comes from realizing how precious each of these moments is – without needing to get to the next place or milestone.
and in the very near future, I WILL pull out that cushion again. After all, without practice, presence is very hard to find.