You know why there are so many articles and books out there about being a working mom or work/life balance? Because the struggle is so real. so. unbelievably. real.

I was delighted to be asked to offer a workshop at Wigwam Fest this year. Last year, it was one of my favorite yoga events so, of course, I was happy to be involved again. I put a lot of energy into developing my class on Metta or the practice of Lovingkindness. Re-reading some of my favorite texts, pulling quotes, designed a yoga practice… I lined up my babysitters. Requested the hubs come home early on Friday for the full moon kick-off party.

And.Then.Asa.Got.Sick.

Because of course it would happen like that. Why was I surprised when he woke up with a fever Friday morning? The doc said virus; nothing to do but cuddle my upset babe and be patient. But what about the festival? Was I the mom who called out the day before an event and said sorry I can’t be there? Or was I the mom who left her sick child to go teach at a festival? Can you hear the distaste in both of those sentences? I hated both options. I didn’t want to leave Ace. I didn’t want to disappoint the festival-goers who signed up for my class or the festival organizers who invited me to participate. I DIDN’T WANT TO.

So, I worried. I called my mom. I called my mommy-friends. I cried to my hubby. And, then I remembered… this is why we practice non-attachment. This is why we keep practicing letting go. Because I couldn’t control this moment. And no amount of brow-beating, worrying or complaining would change the situation or my options. So I softened, a little… I took a breath.

I called the festival peeps and, with an apology, explained the situation and asked for help. We called around looking for a substitute teacher for my

workshop. Meanwhile, I sat, cuddled Asa, and breathed. I saw that he was fine, just uncomfortable. I knew that my parents were planning to come babysit him anyways. It was ok.

There wasn’t a sub available. Ok. I decided to teach my workshop and when I listened, that decision FELT good. It felt right. I would be gone for about 3 hours total. Asa might be bummed his mom wasn’t there but he’d have Mimi & Pop-pop to cuddle him. Ok.

Saturday arrived and so did my parents. They took Asa for walk while I left the house. I connected with with friends, taught my workshop in a gorgeous space on a gorgeous day, and got home to a content, on-the-mend baby. The meltdown didn’t change anything. The worrying didn’t either. All I could do was let go and be in this moment of my life. And, unsurprisingly, it was ok. In fact, it was kinda lovely.

Lesson learned. Again.

The KIND Unity Tent before my workhshop. Gorgeous!

 

a moment to breath and be grateful after class

Ace doesn’t look too upset hanging with his Mimi!